And he aggressively writes real person fic about Sherlock with every single person in his life and absolutely refuses to stop. Sherlock becomes infamous because everyone is reading it and it’s really cramping his untouchable-virgin style. Consider:
“His Archenemy” by thereal_moriarty, featuring Sherlock Holmes/Mycroft Holmes, explicit, incest, chan, D/s dynamics
“You Are Important to Me” by thereal_moriarty, featuring Sherlock Holmes/Molly Cooper, het, fluff, smut, PWP
“Turn Around and Don’t Even Breathe” by thereal_moriarty, featuring Sherlock Holmes/Philip Anderson, smut, hate sex, angst, toplock
“Correct Me, Doctor” by thereal_moriarty, featuring Sherlock Holmes/John Watson also ft. Sherlock’s riding crop, explicit, crack, fetish
“Not Your Housekeeper” by thereal_moriarty, featuring Sherlock Holmes/Martha Hudson, roleplay, age difference, humour, milf
And Sherlock is all like:
And Moriarty is all
LOL
OMG this is HILARIOUS!
Can I play?
“Find Yourself Another Friend” by thereal_moriarity. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Sally Donovan, enemies to lovers, handcuffs, rough sex, shame kink, dirty talk.
“A Quick Cup o’ Joe” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Mr. Chatterge, coffee shop AU, casual sex, hook ups, bathroom sex.
“It Only Matters If You’re Caught” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Sarah Sawyer, infidelity, cheating with your best friend’s girlfriend, seduction.
“I’m The Only Drug You Need” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Jefferson Hope, car sex, non con, drugged sex.
“Welcome Home” by thereal_morarity. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/The Empty Hearse Fan Club, gang bang, group sex, orgy, where do all these limbs go.
“Water Water Everywhere” by thereal_morarity. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/The Waters Family Gang. Polyamory, group sex, relationship negotiations, lots of cuddles.
“In My Free Time” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Anthea-his-brother’s-PA. Secret relationship, silent sex, caught in a compromising position.
Give me more minor or almost invisible characters and I’ll keep going.
“Light Me Up, Doctor” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Doctor Stapleton. Sex as an experiment, sex in a laboratory, cunnilingus, unexpectedly hot clinical talk.
“Bunny My Honey” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Bluebell. Fluffy animal as a masturbatory aid, frottage, sensuality.
“Let Me Be Your Hero” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Bombing Victim #2. Rescue turns romantic, hero worship, pity sex.
“Just Platonic” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Kitty Riley. Bathroom sex, sex to prove heterosexuality, sinks and mirrors will be shattered along with Kitty’s belief that Sherlock is gay.
"I’ve Been A Bad Boy" by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Prosecuting Solicitor in TRF. Suit kink, Dom/Sub, Sub Sherlock, verbal orders, boot licking, rough sex.
"Only You Can Help Me" by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Defending Solicitor in TRF. Rescue kink, role play, power exchange, Sherlock just wants to be taken care of, handjobs.
"You Must Find Me Guilty" by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Judge from TRF. Wig kink, blowjob under black robe, hiding under the bench to tease your lover, public sex kink, blowjob during a trial.
"Come Fly With Me" by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Lady Carmichael/The TAB pilot. Time travel, sex on a plane, Mile High Club, threesome M/F/F, a new meaning to the term COCKpit, selfcest, flight instruments as sex toys.
@iris-wallpaper Do you want more? Cause there are still:
Soo Lin DI Dimmock Henry Knight Sebastian Wilkes Billy Wiggins The museum curator Tom the Meat Dagger Dave Mary’s ex
Also didn’t see Mary Greg Janine Eurus Faith – Culverton Smith daughter
Yes!!! Wonderful addition @mychakk I can’t do them all right now but will come back to it this evening or tomorrow.
“Precision” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Soo Lin. Museum conservation tools as sex toys, sex at work, tickling, brushing, paint and solvent smells as aphrodisiacs.
“I’m In Charge Here” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/DI Dimmock. Sex in a murdered man’s bed, restraints, gags, spanking, acrobatic sex.
“It Happened One Night” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Henry Knight. Sherlock comforts a terrified Henry, comfort sex, sex with the lights on, sex with the curtains open, exhibitionism, making animal growls during sex.
“Around The World Twice In A Week” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Sebastian Wilkes. Hatesex, revenge sex, pissing contest, not literal pissing, edging, seeing who can hold out longer, dry orgasm, repeat hatesex.
“And That’s Coming From Me” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Billy Wiggins. Drugged out sex, sex multiple times in a day, chafing, surreal sex due to hallucinating, inability to attain orgasm, because drugs, rimming, blowjobs.
“The Original” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/The Museum Curator from TGG. Partially clothed sex, hate sex, not really hate sex more contempt sex, sex in a museum, biting, scratching, swearing, dirty talk, accents as aphrodisiacs.
“Meat Market” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Tom The Meat Dagger Guy. Role play- pretend meeting in a gay bar, mutual masterbation, phallus worship, Dom Sherlock, blow job, humiliation kink.
“Text Alert” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Dave Mary’s Ex. Casual sex, being summoned for sex, Come Anyway, top Sherlock, rough sex, ball gag, blindfold, flail.
Finishing out @mychakk prompts:
“You Gotta Have Faith” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Faith Smith – the real Faith Smith not Euros-as-Faith. Sex in a morgue, inappropriate use of stainless steel autopsy table, cane as a sex toy, caning, blood play, scalpel play.
“Make Me Wear The Hat” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Janine Donlevy. Extended sex romp, cosplay, The Deerstalker as a sex toy, copious amounts of lube, spanking with the hat, exhibitionism.
“Not My Department” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Greg Lestrade. Hangover, sex in a jail cell, food play, gorging on donuts, making a porn movie on a smartphone.
“Nicely” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Mary Morstan. Gun play, power exchange, Dom Mary, Sub Sherlock, blood play, scar kink, humiliation kink.
“Finger Play” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Eurus Holmes. Hand holding, twining fingers, music kink, fingering, multiple costume changes, wig kink, so much fingering.
And I thought of more:
“Lost Weekend” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Billy the Innkeeper/Gary the Innkeeper. Cross Keys Inn, threesome M/M/M, three in a double room, sugared coffee flavored lube, aftercare, snoring.
“Ten-Hut” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Major Barrymore/Corporal Lyons. Military kink, threesome M/M/M, following orders, bottomlock, sex in an office, uniform kink.
“A Funny Thing Happened On The Way Out” by thereal_moriarty. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Doctor Frankland. Elevator sex, frottage, height difference, lab coat kink, hallucinagetic gas, sex under the influence, dubious consent due to influence of drug.
“Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good.”
This….is fantastic!
So….is anyone writing any of these? I really hope someone starts an AO3 as thereal_moriarty and starts writing these.
Will the real Moriarty please rise up
I’m so serious, too! It can be like a collaboration – that’s a lot of stories for one person. Someone creates the AO3 for this, and people can pick which stories they want to write and submit for uploading. The only rule is to stick to the tags and description as noted in this post.
I WANT THIS SO BADLY!!
It could be a collection on AO3. I’ll try to figure out how to set up a collection this weekend and set it up. Anyone can write from the prompts and link their fic to the collection. thereal_moriarty collection!
Another rule is to write badly. Use all the no-nos for fic writing. Write like Moriarty would write – crazed psychopath writing.
@iris-wallpaper this is genius! Your moriarty fic ideas are amazing. If you need help setting up a collection lmk–it’s pretty easy though as I recall.
(Personally, I think Jim would be a fastidious fic writer–proofreading until his eyes bled and writing so convincingly that by the end of each fic, the more susceptible in his audience would definitely ship whatever-it-is—a fact that would drive Sherlock extra bonkers.)
“Masterpiece” by thereal_moriarity. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/The Old Man Who Paints Like Vermeer. Travel, steamy South American nights, posing nude, erotic painting, finger painting, Down There, brushing, tickling.
“I’ll Get A Candle” by thereal_moriarity. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Angelo. Food porn, cock and ball torture (CBT), cock rings, hot wax torture, candlelight scene.
“Mesmerized” by thereal_moriarity. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Derren Brown. Dubious consent due to hypnotism, pinching, paddling, barking like a dog, dildos, double penetration.
“In The Corner” by thereal_moriarity. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/The Boring Teacher One. Role play, teacher/student, school uniform, dunce cap, humiliation kink, paddling, orgasm denial.
“Reboot” by thereal_moriarity. Featuring Sherlock Holmes/Jim From IT. Underwear kink, tataurine cream as lube, clubbing, dancing, exhibitionism/vouyorism, pulling in a gay club threesome, but not really because Sherlock just likes to watch.
“Sergeant Donovan just told me about the two pills. Dreadful business, just-” *Sherlock pulls John in for a kiss*
“We’re going out tonight.” “Great. It’s a date.” “A what?” “It’s where two people who like each other have fun?” “I know what a date is, John.” “Great, so I’ll see you at 8?” “…yes.”
“Don’t be alarmed – it’s to do with sex.” “Sex doesn’t alarm me.” “*smirk* How would you know?” (John)“Well he certainly wasn’t alarmed last night. *bigger smirk*” *Mycroft’s eyes bulging out of his skull*
*Sherlock writing happy music and eating properly because he’s not moping over “the Woman”, he’s with John*
*John and Sherlock sharing the bed at the Cross Keys Inn*
*John comforting Sherlock when he was scared by the Hound*
*the press applauding Sherlock and disdaining Moriarty*
*Sherlock returns from the dead and John kisses him instead of punching him*
“John Watson. My husband, John Watson.”
*Mary gets put in jail and John and Sherlock live happily ever after*
well thank you satan
John and Sherlock getting married, and dancing together at the reception. 😭
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