I am honestly laughing so hard right now thinking about the utterly ridiculous events that unfolded at Sherlock’s family’s house at the end of The Final Problem. Like I cannot stop laughing just imagining some cartoon cronies hammering that 10 x 10 room together in the front yard and stapling pictures to the walls for dramatic effect while Sherlock just lies like a dead-ass tuna in the middle of it. You know those minions were watching from the bushes with binoculars like, “Damn good touch with the dog bowl, Stanley.” That entire scene was so ludicrously implausible that I cannot stop laughing at the absurdity of it all. Like did Euros shout commands at a team of stage hands with a megaphone to set that all up before she had her level ten psychotic break? Did they all zip-line from the walls of Sherrinford and barrel-roll right into the front yard with the stage props in their hands? How did they transport two grown-ass male bodies to the yard in that amount of time? Is Euros a licensed pilot as well as a criminal mastermind and movie director? Where were all of the cronies that helped her set it all up? Were they all posted up in Mr. and Mrs. Holmes’ bedroom watching The Great British Bake Off while Sherlock ran screaming through the yard? Did anyone think to go back for John’s feet in the well? The whole thing is such a fever-fuck, I’m wasted.
reductio ad absurdum 😍
[acd voice]: so like forty years ago or whatever, there was this guy, he was so. hot. and like, so. smart? and i was like, what if we had adventures together? and accidentally immortalized us both
During @inevitably-johnlocked wonderful watchalong today the chat in our hilarious insanity began to notice similarities between Penguins of Madagascara and our favourite episode of Sherlock: The Final Problem.
I found this whole concept hilarious to try and find as many parallels as I could. This is the shit post to end all shit posts for TFP and frankly, I laughed so much while making this that I almost peed. I hope this can help my friends to smile and heal from the train wreck that was The Final Problem.
Let’s start at the beginning… Meet our two Villains. Dave, and Eurus. Masters of Disguise.
Dave and Eurus also share the same trait of being a genius. Wow.
Oh look, similar themes… North Wind, meet East Wind.
Both villains are introduced in the most over the top horror-type dramatic fashion.
There’s an explosion, which our heroes miraculously escape from.
Without even a scratch.
Our heroes steal a boat so they can get to our villain’s evil lair…
A REMOTE ISLAND FORTESSS!
BUT… They need to sneak in, in disguise.
Looks like Penguins won this round… Guess we don’t get to see Mycroft in a mermaid suit.
Where they are confronted by our villain via a TV
Our villains both have magic remote controls for their evil dastardly plans!!
And they both like to make things scary by switching all the lights to RED.
Always use nonlethal force to subdue heroes. Tranquilisers are a must for any budding super villain.
HOW DO YOU LAND THIS THING??
OH SHIT WE ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE BABY!!!!
What motivates our villains you ask? Why, it’s loneliness of course!
Oh hello sinister water… what are you doing here?
How do we defeat our villain? GIVE THEM A FRIEND, DUH!
Finally, we come to the moral of our stories… I think Penguins also wins this round. While TFP says: “Who you really are, it doesn’t matter.“
Penguins of Madagascar says: “If there’s anything we’ve learned from this delightful adventure… Kowalski… It’s that looks don’t matter. It’s what you do that counts. And look at what you did. […] you are the most meaningful and valued member of this team.”
au where instead of saying “the address is 221b baker street” sherlock says “my grindr username is detectivetwink1983”
“Who’d want me for a hookup?”
Mike chuckled. “You’re the second person to say that to me today.”
To John’s surprise, Mike took him to a chilly morgue, where a lanky man with the face of an angel, eyes not leaving a computer screen, asked to borrow John’s phone. The whole situation was quite strange, especially when the man started making some surprising deductions about John’s past in Afghanistan.
But that was nothing compared to the utter bewilderment that John felt at the man’s next question, completely out of nowhere: “How do you feel about topping?”
John did a double take. “I’m sorry, what?”
The man hardly looked up from his computer. “I enjoy being tied up when I’m thinking. Sometimes I want sex for days on end. Would that bother you?” Now, he glanced at John. “Potential lovers should know the worst about each other.”
John scoffed and looked back at Mike, who was grinning like a madman. “You told him about me?”
Apparently Mike hadn’t, and the lanky angel made some cryptic comments about how he’d worked out not only John’s current dry spell, but also his complete family history and military past.
It was completely and utterly intoxicating. The stranger’s sharp eyes on him gave his skin a tingly feeling, like being caressed with nothing more than a gaze.
So when the stranger said, “We’ll meet tomorrow evening; seven
o’clock,” John was speechless.
And when the man strode towards the door and added, “Sorry, I’ve got to dash. I think I left my
riding crop in the mortuary,” John’s jaw dropped halfway to the floor, countered by another part of him that seemed to rise as if on command.
“Is that it?” John barely managed to say.
The man stopped in his tracks. “Is that what?”
“We’ve only just met and we’re going to meet for a hookup tomorrow?”
“Problem?”
John blinked. “We don’t know a thing about each other. I
don’t know your name. I don’t even know where we’re meeting.”
The stranger grinned, a glint in his eye. “My grindr username is detectivetwink1983.” He winked. “Afternoon.”
It was all John could do to keep himself from sliding to the floor in a puddle of perplexity, wonder, and complete, utter lust.
Sherlock Fandom Archive 