sherlock: why are u so obsessed with me and why are u trying to kill me and kill my friends and kill our brother and kill these randos
churros: i wanted to play pirates with yall that 1 time in 1982 and we didnt
sherlock: oh dang my bad
churros: yup. but if u give me a hug and schedule Violin Battle Game Night every friday, we’re cool and i’ll stop alla this killin
sherlock: hahaaaaa u got it, but you’re goin DOWN sis [immediately pulls out violin rips into a playful rendition of “We Are Family” by the pointer sisters]
By the time you read this I’ll be dead. This is how I think it’s gonna happen:
Your sister will shoot me, then Mycroft will try to shoot a clown, then your sister will blow us up, then we’ll all get on a boat and go to murder prison island, then get trapped, I’ll try to shoot a warden but I won’t be able to, you’ll try to shoot Mycroft, then you’ll try to shoot yourself, then your sister will shoot all of us.
PS then a bunch of gay conspirators will read this letter and then shoot each other.
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