writemeastoryofsolitude:

shinka:

EURUS: Oh!  Have you had sex?
SHERLOCK (continuing to play the tune): Why do you ask?
EURUS: The music.  I’ve had sex.
SHERLOCK: How?
EURUS: One of the nurses got careless.  I liked it.  Messy, though.  People are so breakable.
SHERLOCK (still playing): I take it he didn’t consent.
EURUS: He?
SHERLOCK: She?
EURUS: Afraid I didn’t notice in the heat of the moment and afterwards … well, you couldn’t really tell.  

there is so much to unpack here i dont know where to start, first of all ‘nurse???’ mary was a nurse, but you know who john called a nurse once? sherlock

second, the nurse got careless which means eurus/john took advantage of them. plus the fact that eurus/john didnt really know what gender they were which is also a dead giveway of how bad john feels about his bisexuality and his feelings for men and sherlock, he thinks he’s a demon who would break and hurt his lovers because he thinks it’s wrong to desire ‘bodies’ like that, deep down he hates himself for his sexuality, a depravity that makes no difference between genders because in the end, all that is left is pain and misery. eurus/john likes the act but the aftermath of the shame and the guilt makes it unbearable.

and finally, this is a very clear callback to culverton’s confession about loving to make ‘people into things’.